Single on Valentine’s Day? Your Guide to Self-Love & Joy

Let’s start with the truth: If you’re in a loving relationship, Valentine’s Day can be magical—a day of sweet gestures, shared laughter, and maybe even a cheesy card that makes you cringe-laugh. But for those of us flying solo? February 14th can feel like the universe’s way of shouting, “Hey, remember that thing you don’t have?”

I’ve been there. Ohhh, have I been there. The year I spent Valentine’s Day third-wheeling my roommate’s date night (I ate three breadsticks and cried in the Uber), or the time I impulse-bought a “Love Stinks” sweatshirt while doomscrolling couple photos at 1 AM. It’s not that I hate love—I just hated feeling like my worth was tied to a relationship status.

But here’s the thing: Valentine’s Day isn’t a referendum on your lovability. Whether you’re single by choice, circumstance, or “it’s complicated,” this day can still be yours—not for chasing romance, but for celebrating the most important relationship you’ll ever have: the one with yourself.

This isn’t a post about “faking it till you make it.” It’s a permission slip to toss the script, eat the chocolate you bought, and rewrite February 14th as a choose-your-own-adventure day. No partners? No problem. Let’s turn “Single Awareness Day” into “Celebrate Your Damn Self Day.”

Step 1: Break Up with Valentine’s Day Stereotypes

The “Romance” Myth (And Why It’s Overrated)

Let’s be real: The most romantic thing I’ve done lately is remember to charge my phone. Society’s version of romance—staring into someone’s eyes over candlelight—is great, but so is staring into a pint of Ben & Jerry’s while watching Die Hard.

Your mission: Redefine “romance” on your terms.

Romanticize your morning coffee like it’s a Wes Anderson scene.
Write a love letter to your bed. (“Dear Bed, you’re my rock. Literally.”)
Blast “I Will Survive” while folding laundry.

The “Comparison Trap” Escape Plan

Yes, your cousin’s fiancé rented a skywriter. Good for them! But you know what’s also cool? Not sharing your snacks.

Try this: Next time you feel FOMO creeping in, list three things you love about solo life. My list:

I can hog the blankets without judgment.
My shower playlists are 100% ABBA, 0% apologies.
I never have to pretend to like camping.

Your Anti-Loneliness Toolkit: 5 Ways to Date Yourself

1. The “Love Letter to Me” Challenge

Grab a notebook (or a napkin—we’re not picky) and finish these sentences:

“I’m proud of myself for…” (Example: “Finally fixing that weird noise my car makes.”)
“I forgive myself for…” (Example: “That time I texted my ex ‘u up?’ at 2 AM. We’ve all been there.”)
“This year, I’m excited to…” (Example: “Learn salsa dancing. Or at least stop tripping over my feet.”)

Pro tip: Mail it to yourself. Future-you will cringe… then cry happy tears.

2. Host a “Treat Yo’ Self” Extravaganza

Valentine’s Day is your excuse to go full Parks and Rec Treat Yo’ Self mode. Ideas:

The Spa CEO: Bubble bath + face mask + cucumber eyes. Bonus: No one steals your robe.
The Gourmet Chef: Cook that complicated recipe you’ve bookmarked since 2018. (If it flops, cereal counts as “deconstructed cuisine.”)
The Dance Floor Queen: Crank up “Dancing Queen” and shimmy like your shower’s a Grammy stage.

3. Plan a “Soul Date” Adventure

Take yourself out like you’re the protagonist of a Nora Ephron movie. Options:

The Bookstore Bae: Wander aisles, sniffing books and judging covers. Buy the one with the prettiest spine.
The Nature Lover: Hike a trail, name a squirrel, and picnic with charcuterie you’ll Instagram just for you.
The Culture Vulture: Hit a museum and pretend you’re in The Da Vinci Code. (Bonus: No one rushes you past the Monet.)

4. Throw a “Galentine’s/Palentine’s” Bash

Invite your ride-or-dies for:

A “Bad Romance” Karaoke Night: Belt out breakup anthems. Extra points for air guitar.
A DIY Pizza Party: Because nothing says “love” like arguing over pineapple toppings.
A Nostalgia Fest: Watch 10 Things I Hate About You and debate whether Heath Ledger’s hair was peak 90s.

5. Spread Love Like Confetti

Nothing fuels joy like random acts of kindness. Try:

Leaving sticky notes with affirmations on bathroom mirrors. (“You’re killing it, stranger!”)
Paying for the coffee of the person behind you. (Warning: They might cry. You might cry. It’s fine.)
Volunteering at an animal shelter. Puppy cuddles > overpriced chocolates.