Today, I’m excited to share a bit of my marriage journey and some marriage advice after 18 years together. My husband and I celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary today, June 27th, 2025. As we look back on our journey, I feel immense gratitude for how far we’ve come—from strangers meeting online to partners building a beautiful life together.
We’re in the best season of our relationship right now. Our bond is stronger than ever, and our two amazing children have been the greatest treasures we’ve gained along the way. They’ve taught us patience, joy, and the deeper meaning of family.
In honor of this special milestone, I want to share not just the lessons we’ve learned about building a happy marriage, but also the story of how it all began.
Our Love Story: From Online Dating to Building a Life Together
Our story started on an online dating site—me, a Chinese woman looking for a meaningful connection, and him, an Irish man searching for love beyond his borders. For three months, we chatted online every day, sharing our dreams, values, and quirks. Even across continents, we felt something special growing between us.
When we finally met in person, I flew to Ireland and stayed with him for three months. During those days, our feelings deepened, and we realized we wanted a future together. After I returned to China, it didn’t take long before he came to visit me. Three months later, we got married in China.
After our wedding, I moved to Ireland to start our new life together. We lived in a rented house; he worked hard while I stayed home, supporting our growing family. Within the first three years of marriage, we welcomed two beautiful children who have filled our lives with love and purpose.
Today, years later, we own a spacious and beautiful home we’re proud of. Our children attend top schools and are growing into kind, pleasant individuals. Our journey reminds me daily of the power of love, faith, and building a life together from a foundation of trust, respect, and shared dreams.
The Early Years: Learning to Grow Together
Those early years of marriage weren’t always easy. We were two people from very different cultures learning how to communicate, compromise, and adapt. We had to figure out how to blend traditions, manage homesickness, and navigate a new country together.
I learned quickly that love alone wasn’t enough; patience and understanding were essential. We had to be willing to talk about our feelings honestly and learn to see things from each other’s perspective.
Looking back, I believe the challenges we faced early on helped lay the foundation for the strong marriage we have today.
Embracing Change—But Not Expecting to Change Each Other
One of the most important lessons we learned is this: Don’t enter marriage expecting to change your partner. Instead, see them as the best person for you, just as they are.
We’ve both grown a lot since those early years, but we never tried to force each other into someone we’re not. Instead, we built a safe, loving space where both of us could grow into better versions of ourselves.
Communication Is Everything
Healthy communication has been the foundation of our lasting relationship. Early on, misunderstandings sometimes turned into arguments because we didn’t always know how to express ourselves calmly.
Through practice, we learned to:
- Share our thoughts openly without attacking each other
- Use “I” statements instead of “You always…” or “You never…” to avoid blame
- Listen to understand, not just to respond
- Choose the right time to talk—waiting until we were both calm instead of venting in frustration
These habits transformed our conversations from potential conflicts into opportunities for connection.
Nurturing Intimacy Beyond Physical Affection
With the demands of parenting, work, and daily responsibilities, it’s easy for intimacy to slip away. But we found that nurturing emotional closeness keeps a marriage vibrant.
Little gestures, like hugging before he leaves for work or texting him just to say “I miss you,” remind us that we’re still each other’s priority. We try to plan occasional date nights, even if it’s just a quiet dinner at home.
Remember: intimacy isn’t just about physical affection. It’s also about feeling safe, valued, and emotionally connected.
Building a Partnership Based on Mutual Respect
Respect is one of the pillars of our marriage. We show it in everyday moments: speaking kindly, considering each other’s opinions, and supporting each other’s dreams.
It also means sharing responsibilities fairly. In our early years, he worked outside the home while I cared for our children and household. As time passed, we both recognized the importance of honoring each other’s contributions—whether financial, emotional, or practical.
When both partners feel seen and valued, trust grows, and love deepens.
Seeing Challenges as Opportunities for Growth
We’ve faced challenges along the way: financial worries, cultural differences, parenting dilemmas, and moments when we simply felt overwhelmed. But instead of letting these difficulties drive us apart, we tried (not always perfectly) to face them together.
Each challenge became an opportunity to strengthen our bond, build resilience, and remind ourselves that we’re on the same team.
If you’re in a tough season, remember: you and your partner against the problem—not against each other.
Cherishing the Everyday Moments
Marriage isn’t built on grand gestures alone; it’s in the small, daily moments. The mornings we share coffee, the laughs over inside jokes, the quiet evenings spent reading or watching a favorite show—these moments knit our hearts together.
As our kids grew, we realized how precious these everyday experiences are. Now, we make it a point to cherish them.
Celebrate the ordinary: the warm hugs, shared meals, and conversations at the end of the day. These moments are the true foundation of a lasting marriage.
Raising Our Children: Our Greatest Shared Joy
Our two children have been the most profound blessing of our marriage. They’ve taught us patience, helped us grow, and brought meaning to our journey together.
Raising them hasn’t always been easy—it has cost time, energy, and money, and it challenged us in ways we never expected. But it’s been worth every sleepless night and every hurdle. We’re so proud of the kind, pleasant young people they’re becoming.
Parenting as a team reminded us to:
- Keep communicating
- Support each other’s strengths
- Model a loving partnership for our kids
To young couples who feel hesitant about having children because it seems too hard or expensive: I understand those fears deeply. But I’ve found that raising children is also a journey of raising yourself. While kids certainly require sacrifices of time, energy, and resources, they give back so much more—strength you never knew you had, love beyond measure, and endless inspiration.
Children teach you patience, open your heart, and remind you of life’s wonder. The challenges of parenthood have made us stronger individually and as a couple, and our children have been the greatest source of joy and purpose we could ever imagine.
Keep Choosing Each Other, Every Day
If there’s one lesson I’d share with every couple, it’s this: Marriage is not a one-time promise, but a daily choice.
Some days it’s effortless to love your partner; other days, life’s pressures make it harder. But choosing each other—through patience, forgiveness, gratitude, and kindness—builds a relationship that lasts.
Simple ways to choose your partner daily include:
- Expressing appreciation for the little things they do
- Saying “I love you” often and meaning it
- Offering a smile or a kind word, even during busy or stressful moments
- Setting aside time, however short, to reconnect each day
The Power of Emotional Value
One of the greatest things we can do for our partners is to provide emotional value—showing them they are appreciated, admired, and loved.
I make it a point to praise my husband’s cooking, telling him how delicious his porridge and chicken curry are. I remind him of his kindness and how much I admire his pure, generous nature. Expressing my emotions lets him know how I feel, but I’ve also learned not to let emotions control me.
In difficult times—like when we faced job losses or income challenges—we chose to comfort each other instead of casting blame. We reminded ourselves that together, we could overcome anything. Those moments of mutual support have been some of the strongest threads in the fabric of our marriage.
Look What My Husband Got Me for Our Anniversary 🎁
Today, my husband surprised me with the sweetest presents to celebrate our 18th anniversary. If you’re looking for thoughtful gifts for your own anniversary or for a couple you love, here’s what made my day so special:
🌹 Forever Rose 24K Gold Dipped Real Rose
A timeless keepsake symbolizing eternal love.
🌸 LEGO Botanicals Bouquet of Roses
A playful bouquet that lasts forever, perfect for creative couples.
☕ Mr and Mrs Coffee Cups Set
Charming matching mugs that make every morning feel special.
💎 LAVUMO Heart Necklace for Women 925 Sterling Silver
A delicate necklace to celebrate lasting love.
- Buildable home decor flower bouquet – Indulge yourself or join friends and family for a mindful project with the LEGO Ic…
- REAL ROSE DIPPED IN 24K GOLD: This authentic Forever Rose begins as a real rose chosen at peak bloom. It’s carefully pre…
- {Wedding Gifts} This gift not only practicality but also conveys warm wishes for a happy future to the bride and groom, …
- Heart necklaces for women: Our exquisite silver heart necklace features a stunning heart-shaped created citrine stone, s…
Recommended Books on Love & Marriage 📚
Looking to deepen your connection or gift a book that could transform a marriage? Here are a few of my favorites:
📖 The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
A must-read guide to understanding how you and your partner express and receive love.
📖 Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson
Powerful conversations to build lasting emotional connection.
📖 Eight Dates by John and Julie Gottman
Practical, research-backed conversations to keep your relationship fresh and exciting.
A Must-Watch: The 3 Secrets to a Beautiful, Lasting Marriage 📺
I highly recommend this insightful YouTube video for every couple:
The 3 Secrets to a Beautiful, Lasting Marriage
It shares practical advice to nurture a marriage that grows stronger over time.
Final Thoughts: Here’s to Many More Years of Love
As we celebrate 18 years of marriage, I feel overwhelmed with gratitude for the life we’ve built together—from our first online chat to a life built on love, respect, and shared dreams.
Marriage is not about changing each other but about growing together, cherishing everyday moments, and always bringing emotional value to the relationship. Remember: marriage thrives when you praise your partner, express your feelings honestly, and face challenges hand in hand.
To anyone reading this: whether you’re newly married or celebrating decades together, never stop choosing each other. Keep nurturing your bond, stay kind, and hold onto the belief that together, you can overcome anything.
Here’s to love, laughter, and building a beautiful life side by side. ❤️
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